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| [Fic opens. Koushiro is walking down the street towards Mimi's house,
when it begins to rain. He looks up as the first droplets fall on his head,
then runs for cover, trying to shelter himself with his arms as the sky
opens up. He makes it to a bridge and ducks under, leaning against it and
panting, trying to catch his breath. Then he notices Jyou beside him, just
as Jyou notices him. Jyou smiles mysteriously.
"It's a bit cold, Koushiro..." "Hai, it is." "Maybe we should... you know, huddle together for warmth or something..." Jyou moves close to Koushiro, taking the smaller boy into his arms. Koushiro's breath catches and his eyes widen, heart pounding as Jyou holds him close, keeping him warm, and yet...] we both know that I shouldn't be here
[Jyou leans down, tipping Koushiro's chin up, and kissing him full on the lips. Koushiro freezes in shock. Jyou holds the kiss there for a few seconds, before pulling away. Koushiro just stares at him. "Jyou..." Silence, as the older boy holds him, wanting to be close to him, tears beginning to stream down his cheeks. A love unrealized bursts into full bloom in Koushiro's heart, and it frightens him... he thinks of Mimi, waiting for him to arrive, and his heart aches... how can it comfortably hold two such blossoms?] both of us tryin' to be strong
[Koushiro pushes Jyou away. "Jyou... I'm sorry, I have to leave..." "Koushiro..." but Koushiro is already walking away. Jyou sighs. "Koushiro, I love you," he murmurs, just before Koushiro moves out of earshot. Koushiro breaks into a run.] someone else who loves me
[Koushiro imagines Mimi falling asleep as she waits for him, comfortable in the knowledge that he will be there.] i've made up my mind
[For a brief moment, Koushiro considers going back and throwing himself into Jyou's arms. Almost in the same instant, he decides against it, and he makes a painful decision... he cannot be with them both, so he must push Jyou away... The next morning, Koushiro calls Jyou. "Moshi moshi," Jyou greets, not knowing who it is. "Jyou, it's Koushiro..." The joy is evident in Jyou's voice. "Ohayo, Koushiro!" Koushiro swallows down the lump in his throat. "Jyou, I have to talk to you. Meet me at the park in a little while..it's important." "Hai... see you then." "Sayonara." Koushiro hangs up and leans against the wall, wiping a tear from his eye.] (chorus)
["What was it you wanted to talk to me about, Koushiro?" So innocent, so unknowing of the pain that was to come... this will be agony for them both, Koushiro knows. "Jyou... I..." "Yes?" Dusky eyes eager and hopeful as a child's, obviously hoping for Koushiro to say the three words he has dreamed of hearing... "I... don't... love you." Koushiro keeps his gaze steady, looking into Jyou's eyes, despite the pain...] it's the hardest thing
[Jyou is in shock. Tears begin to well up in his eyes. "W..what?" He searches Koushiro's deadpan face, hoping Koushiro didn't just say... "I don't love you, Jyou. Please, just... leave me alone..." Koushiro drops his gaze, as Jyou begins to cry.] i can't let you see
["I'm... I'm sor-sorry, Kou-Koushi-ro..." Jyou's voice is broken with tears. He sniffles. "Do... you hate me?" Koushiro keeps his eyes trained on the ground, and doesn't answer, resisting the urge to hold Jyou and kiss away his tears... 'This is for the best,' he thinks. 'At least I hope so...'] we're not meant to be
[Unable to bear the pain any more, Koushiro turns and walks stiffly away, trying to ignore Jyou's cries as he walks. He keeps on walking, and walking... ] i know that we'll meet again
["Please, Jyou," he whispers. "Just forget about me... I love you so much, but it can never be..."] i've got to be cruel to be kind
[Koushiro thinks he hears a splash behind him, far in the distance. He dismisses it, but glances backwards, a cold feeling taking over his heart and stomach as he realizes that they had been talking near the river...] cause there can be no happy ending [Koushiro turns around and bolts, running back to where he and Jyou had talked, running along the rivershore... he finds a pair of glasses bobbing in the water... their owner washed ashore nearby. Koushiro cries out and runs to Jyou, taking the older boy into his arms, testing for breath, a pulse... any sign of life... and finds none. He bows his head, holds the corpse to his body, and begins to sob.] chorus maybe another time, another day
[Koushiro thinks back to the kiss in the rain. He leans down to plant a kiss on Jyou's lifeless mouth, his tears falling on the other boy's face.] i've made up my mind
["I'm so sorry, Jyou," he chokes. "It wasn't supposed to end this way... "I just couldn't leave Mimi."] chorus |