That's what everything I was led to believe points to, anyway.

I'm a freak, in so many ways.

I'm not the slightest bit like my parents. I don't know why that is, either. They're ordinary people, my mother with red hair and my father with brown, both on the short side, both somewhat chubby. I'm tall and slender, with long, straight blue hair and slanted eyes, and I'm far from ordinary. I'm so not ordinary, I'm on the news.

My mind is the only thing I'm proud of.

Because there's something else about me, something that must make me evil to the very core. 

It's something I've known for a long time...

I like boys.

I still can't understand why, but I'm attracted to other males. My parents, everyone I know, they all think the idea is disgusting, and that homosexuals are evil. I shouldn't listen to them, but...

When you're told something, every person on every side of you saying the same thing, you begin to believe it.

Well. I'm homosexual, therefore I must be evil. Therefore, I should act accordingly. Even with that, though, I didn't want to destroy the world of my birth...

So when I discovered the digital shadow world, it seemed to answer everything. Here was a world I could control, one I could dominate, one where I wouldn't be the freak. And if I was...

I'm evil, after all... so why not embrace it?

So embrace it I did... building my empire, crushing resistance easily. And then the Chosen Children came.

And I fell in love. Hard. Takaishi Takeru suddenly became the center of my world the instant I saw him. Such a beautiful boy... about my age, with a cheerful demeanor, and bright blue eyes that had somehow managed to retain some form of innocence, even after the horrors he'd faced once before...

I wanted him at once. I wanted to feel some of that joy, have some of that light shine on me. I would give up my empire for Takeru's love. I wouldn't care if I was scorned for the rest of my days. If Takeru loved me, it just wouldn't matter.

Later, I discovered something that shattered my heart into pieces.

Takeru was already in love.

What was most insulting was that he loved another boy. If it had been a girl, it wouldn't have hurt as badly as it did knowing that I could have had a chance with Takeru if he hadn't met Daisuke first...

I hate the name Daisuke now, with a passion. He's what kept the sun from shining on me - the sun being beautiful Takeru. I hate Daisuke.

He took away my last hope of happiness.

He is going to pay.

I want my Takeru.

The Kaizer's had me locked up in his prison, chained to a wall, for days now. He's done everything he can to make me absolutely miserable. He's whipped me, punched me, and kicked me, and worse... When he's not attacking me, he's kissing me, rough and demanding, hands wandering in places I'd really rather only Takeru's hands go. And inbetween the kisses... no, I'd rather forget.

The first day, I kept asking if Takeru was alright, if he'd dared hurt my Takeru, and everytime I said that name, the Kaizer would hiss and hit me even harder, and bite me when he kissed me.

I soon learned not to say that name, no matter how much I wanted to.

V-mon's here too. The Kaizer is forcing him to watch as I'm being tortured, and from the look of him, he's had his fair share of torture too. And without my Digivice or the Digimentals - the Kaizer took them from me again - he can't evolve. Poor little V-mon...

Now the Kaizer's coming in again. I squeeze my eyes shut, knowing what's going to come.

"Daisuke," he hisses. "Open your eyes."

Reluctantly, I open them. I've discovered that it's easier to just do whatever he says. He strides toward me, an undercurrent of pain in his every move. As he stands in front of me, he stares me down, his slanted eyes boring into me even through his goggles. 

Without saying anything, he reaches out and gropes me. I gasp, pressing myself against the wall, trying to escape his invasive touch. I squirm, trying to get away, as he rubs betwen my legs with one hand, the other running up and down my thigh.

V-mon... Takeru... Someone, save me from this lunatic...

I hear the sound of a zipper, and I can't watch as I feel him pull down my pants and underwear, his gloved hands going places I don't want them to go. I futilely try to imagine that this is Takeru who's touching me, but that's impossible... the Kaizer is being so rough, I could never pretend this was Takeru. I let out a whimper as he continues his harsh ministrations.

"Ken..." I croak out his real name. "Ken, please stop..."

That earns me a sharp bite on the most sensitive part of my body. I cry out in agony.

"You have no right to use that name," he hisses, removing his terrible hands at last.

"Why are you doing this?" I whimper, not wanting to look at him.

"Because you've hurt me, Daisuke," the Kaizer snarls. "You've hurt me very badly. So in turn..." He unbuckles his belt, pulling down his pants. "In turn, I'm going to hurt you."

And those terrible hands are on me again, rubbing me in places that would feel good if it were Takeru touching me, my dearest Takeru instead of this terrifying boy in front of me...

Ken never scared me until now.

He presses his hips against mine, and a chill goes up my spine as I feel how... hard he is. He begins to rub against me, and sheer panic wells up in me. I struggle madly, wanting to get away from this monster that seems intent on having his way with me.

"V-mon!" I cry as Ken pulls off his gloves, sticking a finger inside me. I'm starting to sob, this is terrifying and now it hurts.

"Daisuke... Kaizer, stop it! Stop it now!" V-mon finds the strength to scream on my behalf. Ken turns away from me just long enough to signal a group of Gazimon to restrain and gag him. I can see the sorrow in his eyes as he realizes there is nothing he can do.

"Now, then..." The Kaizer turns back to me, and without any warning or preparation, spreads my legs and presses up into me. I scream, and then sob hysterically at the pain that shoots through me. Without so much as a pause, he begins to pull in and out of me. It hurts... all I can hear are my sobs of pain and his groans...

"Do you know why I hate you, Daisuke?" he growls in my ear at last.

"No," I whisper, my voice quavering.

"Because you shattered my world," he hisses, puncutating the word 'world' with a particularly violent thrust. "I fell in love with the sun, and then you cast a shadow over me, keeping the sunlight from ever reaching me. Do you know who the sun is, Daisuke?"

"No," I whisper again.

"Takeru. I love Takeru, Daisuke, I've loved him since the moment I saw him, and then I found out that he loved you. I hate you, Daisuke, because you took away my last hope for happiness."

A sort of sadness clouds his eyes, and for a minute he almost looks human. "You're a lucky person to have Takeru, Daisuke. I want you to treat him like the angel he is, you hear me?"

At that, he pulls out of me and pulls his pants back up. He snaps his fingers, and the chains holding me abruptly open, letting me go. I collapse to my knees. Ken doesn't look at me as I lie shaking on the floor.

"Get dressed. Then I'll let you go. Gazimon, release V-mon."

The grey rabbits comply, and V-mon runs over to me, throwing his arms around me and sobbing. I hug him back, appreciating the friendly touch. Since my hands are shaking and my strength seems to have left me, V-mon helps me get dressed. There's a wealth of pain in his eyes. He couldn't help me when I needed him most.

True to his word, Ken releases me once I'm fully dressed again. V-mon finds a fallen branch I can use as a cane, and I lean heavily on it, dragging myself away, not registering anything around me. I just want to crawl into Takeru's lap and die.

"Daisukeeee! Daisukeeeeee!"

I bite my lip, trying to hold back the tears I feel coming. My Daisuke has been missing for three days! I have to let myself believe he's alive... I don't know what I'd do without Daisuke. I remember when oniicha told me about how he fell in love with Taichi, how Taichi became the center of his world... I swore then that I'd never get myself so wrapped around someone that I'd want to die if I lost them.

Look at me now.

"DAISUKEEEE!!!" I scream again. 

"Takeru," Patamon says sadly, "you may just have to accept that he's--"

"No, wait!" I catch a glimpse of a boy in a flame-patterned jacket with a tiny blue Digimon walking beside him. "DAISUKE!!" I run to the love of my life, my paranoia jumping as I find that he's bruised, leaning on a branch for support, and has been crying.

Daisuke never cries. 

He opens his eyes, gazing up at me.

"Takeru..." he croaks. Not even bothering to hold back my tears, I take Daisuke into my arms, holding him tightly.

"Daisuke, love, tell me what happened..." I want to just break down and cry. What happened to my Daisuke?!

"The Kaizer..." he chokes. "Takeru... he... the Kaizer... he loves you and... and he hates me... and... and..." He's sobbing now. "Takeru, he raped me..."

That sentence, just that one sentence, shatters me. My Daisuke, my darling Daisuke, was... was... I begin to sob along with him, holding him tightly, kissing him, stroking his hair, showering him with all the love I can express.

"Oh, Daisuke... Daisuke, I promise he'll never hurt you again... Oh, my love, I'm so sorry..."

Some part of my mind registers the statement about the Kaizer being in love with me, but I'm much too busy comforting my Daisuke and plotting various bloody ways to get my revenge on the Kaizer to really care.

Oh, my Daisuke... I wish I could have helped you...

A gloved hand held an ornate, golden goblet. It was filled with wine that had been laced with a deadly poison. Ichijouji Ken swished the garnet liquid around in the cup for a moment.

"To the love that never was, and never will be," he said hoarsely. His throne room was empty. Even Wormmon, sleeping in Ken's chambers, on Ken's pillow, was absent. Ken preferred it that way. He raised the cup in a mock toast.

"Here's to you, Takeru," he whispered, before draining the cup.

Only moments later, his arm fell limply over the arm of his chair, his head lolling to one side. The goblet clattered noisily to the floor.

Only moments after that, Ichijouji Ken was deleted.

He had never felt the light of his sun.